One of the most common topics we discuss during Yogic Counseling sessions is low self-esteem. There are so many misunderstandings and misconceptions about low self-esteem. And on top of that, our world is now somewhat controlled by social media that was meant to connect us with each other but instead, it is isolating us more and more, making us feel “less than” because we keep comparing ourselves with everyone else’s ideal.
In our Yogic Counseling sessions, one of the first things we do, when dealing with low self-esteem is debunking some of the myths in order to clearly understand. I hope that these points may shed some light to your low self-esteem and if it doesn’t, I am more than happy to have a chat with you. So let’s take a look:
- It has nothing to do with whether you have depression and/or anxiety. Sometimes, these things show up as a result of low self-esteem but just because one has depression and/or anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean that they have low self-esteem.
- Affirmation doesn’t make it so. Repeating what you want over and over without a clear intention or self-inquiry doesn’t really make things happen. Sometimes, repeating your affirmation has the very opposite effect. For example, if you are repeating to yourself “I love myself” over and over, the opposite of that statement gets amplified, which is “I don’t love myself and that’s why I’m repeating that I do over and over hoping that I will eventually love myself magically.” Affirmation, just like Sankalpa for Yoga Nidrā practice must be thought out very carefully with the intention and truth of the reality. So rather than repeating “I love myself”, it may be more useful to repeat “I have the capacity to love and be loved just as anything in this world.”
- Very often, people with low self-esteem is benefitting something by having low self-esteem. This is a hard one to swallow and may even sound harsh. But often, rather than asking yourself why you have low self-esteem, ask yourself “what am I getting from having/exhibiting behaviors of having low self-esteem?” It could be that you are resistant to change and you find yourself in comfort zones all the time. It could be that by behaving having low self-esteem, you are avoiding certain responsibilities should you put yourself out there. Is there a part of you that is making excuses saying “oh I have low self-esteem so that’s why I behave this way.”
- It has nothing to do with whether you’re introverted or extroverted. Many introverts have no problem with self-esteem. Introverts can enjoy company or be in front of people. It’s just that they enjoy their private time alone more than having a huge party. They have their own rhythms and they know what they like. It may not involve a lot of socialization but it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel good about themselves.
- Just unfollow certain accounts or detox for a while. There is no hard feelings when you unfollow. They will not know that you unfollowed them. So go ahead and unfollow what doesn’t serve you. My feed is now filled with the Lord of the Rings meme and I’m happy as a clam enjoying social media still. But if it’s starting to bother you or making you stress out because you’re not enough of not doing enough, unfollow. No hard feelings. Or go on a routine digital detox.
So these are some of the things I may discuss with my clients. Of course, there are much deeper underlying issues but these are a good starting point to consider. If you’d like, you can contact me for initial session to determine if this is something you’d like to work on.